Skip to main content

How to Deal With Your Inner Critiques

Guys. Gals. Internet friends.

I think we should collectively admit it.

We all talk to ourselves.

Whether it be internally or externally, we communicate with ourselves. Sometimes it’s called thoughts or thinking. Sometimes it’s called internal conversation. I like to call the negative self-talk my inner critiques.

Inner dialogue is something that plays a huge role in your level of love for yourself. What you think is essentially what you have to say - it’s what you believe.

My pastor put it a great way: The way you think leads to the way you feel which leads to the way you act.

Here’s a negative example.

Maria doubts her capabilities. She tells herself that no matter what she tries to do, she will always fail. (I’m a failure. I suck. I can’t do anything right.) This makes her feel miserable and ultimately, unworthy of success. These thoughts and feelings are then reinforced by how she decides to take action. She starts an online shop, but no one buys her products. She wants to enter in a design contest, but decides not to because she’s not good enough, so what’s the point? In the end, Maria not only sufficiently self-sabotages herself, but digs herself deeper into the cycle of negativity every time she makes a decision.

Do you see it? Do you see the cycle? It began with one thought.

That’s how everything begins, my friends. It begins with a single thought. And the small, hurtful comments you tell yourself now can and WILL pile up until you’re unable to handle carrying the weight with you anymore. Please, my friend, don’t do that to yourself. Don’t let it go too far.

And if you have, if you hear the voices, I want you to know it’s not too late. It’s never too late.

But getting those little voices of doubt and insecurity to go away is hard (believe me, I know!). So hard that sometimes I find myself giving in because I just don't feel like putting up a fight. Which is exactly when I should be pushing back harder.

So, what can you do if you find yourself not wanting to fight the good fight?

1. Set fire to the negative.

To some of us - especially those of us who listen to what our inner critics say - the tiny things can feel like stepping on a landmine with our brains. Mostly because we blow things so out of proportion (haha...ha...). So the next time negative thoughts bombard you, grab your mental lighter. After heavily dousing them in gasoline, light ’em up up up and watch how pretty the flames get as the thoughts die away. If you think fire is too violent, you can try “placing” the thoughts in boxes or trash cans. You can also try turning them black and white, then shrinking them into postage stamps that accidentally get thrown away...

2. Occupy your inner critic.

One of my inner critics - Downer, I call her, - is currently in Europe, touring the country with her BFF's "You're-Not-Good-Enough" and "You'll-Never-Get-Anywhere". Whenever she visits I like to help her repack her bags and refill her wallet with paper money before sending her out on another journey again. You should try the same thing. Send your inner critics off to Paris for a fashion show or to a deserted island where the only inhabitants are monkeys and pelicans. If they try to come back, send them off again. They can never resist an adventure.

3. Embrace your quirks.

Your quirks (lovable flaws) are what make you, you! So what better way to establish self-love than to accept and love your quirky parts? After all, they are the reason people befriend you, relate to you, fall for you and so on, so embrace them. Don't hold back bits of yourself because of someone else, or you'll end up losing connection the best parts of you.

Now, my question for you is, how do you deal with your inner critics and dialogue?


  1. I love this post! :)Now, this is probably going to sound a little weird, but this what works for me. I used to have trouble with this a ton. I've prayed about it a lot, and somehow I've gotten into the attitude of being "beyond" my thoughts. Like I don't know, but my thoughts are just so little compared to the big wide world, that suddenly I realized there's no reason why they should affect everything about me. Instead of forming myself around my own opinions of myself, I'm instead allowing me to find what's out "beyond" my thoughts, the greater good out there I guess. If that makes any sense at all. :D I'm loving your blog these days, girl! You're doing a fantastic job. :)

  2. Great post, thanks for checking out my blog

  3. I try to ignore my inner critic by surrounding myself with people who will snap me out of it, often.

    xoxo Morning

  4. tag xx
    I love your header btw

  5. I tagged you to do the Infinity Dreams tag! :)

  6. I tagged you for the infinity dreams tag!

  7. Hey! If you're interested I tagged you to do the Happy Tag, which is super fun! here is the link

  8. Thanks for writing this post! I've just spent the past half hour reading through all your posts and soaking in the information. Your blog is amazing and so helpful.

    1. Thank you so much, Sophie! Your comment really uplifted my day. <3

      (I'll let you in on a secret: Sometimes I feel like my blog doesn't do anything for anyone. But your comment just allowed me to throw my fears into the wind! I couldn't be more thankful.)


Post a Comment

All comments I receive are cherished for many hours after reading them. Thank you for taking the time to type something to me.

xx Nicole Rose

Popular posts from this blog

How to Begin Your Self-Love Journey This Year

When I originally had the idea for this piece of writing I’m about to share with you, I was in a place of transition. I didn’t know my place in the world, I didn’t know if I was worth it and I certainly didn’t feel like I could love myself. Here I am almost a year later, an example of how this works - if you choose to put it into practice. You can improve and learn to love yourself. You can take the steps that bring you into a better place.

I won’t say it was easy and I certainly won’t say I had overnight success, but when you learn to fight your battles one at a time, you’ll be able to look back and see how far you’ve come.

Are you ready to take the first step?

Self Love: Step one I have always been a timid person. I’ve always had trouble keeping the standards I have for myself something below what I deem “perfect”. I enjoy discipline and when I don’t know what to do or my world is shaken, I’m hard on myself.

That’s just who I am.

With that said, I've always felt like I was not a…

A Love Letter

To my dear, blooming Rose - Attached to this letter is not only my love, but my gratitude, thankfulness and a small box of decadent dark chocolates. I would've had flowers delivered too, but no measly plant could ever compare or express my feelings toward you.

Ahh, my dear. You are my truest bundle of joy. It does not matter what mood you are in - you light up my day in the most wonderful of ways.

Your smile makes the sun jealous. Your embrace makes me feel full. Your laughter - so thick and loud - makes me want to laugh too.

What I love most is when you are truly and purely being yourself - because that's who you're meant to be.

With much love and kisses blown with a wink,
Your Secret Admirer

PS: Maybe we could share those chocolates later, eh?

+ + +
When you need some uplifting, write yourself a love letter. Be silly and positive. Analyze yourself. Amp up your best qualities. De-sock your feet as you write and wiggle your toes as your write (then put your socks back on b…

How to Manage Your Creative Time

Being productive can be hard, especially when you have too many things on your to-do list, and have no idea where to start. As a human who likes to pack a lot of stuff into their day, I've struggled with managing my blogging time and balancing it with everything else I need to do.

Here are some tips to help you manage your time (whether it be for blogging or anything else). :)

Being productive can be hard, especially when you have too many things balanced on your plate. Most of the time, you don’t know where to start. As a human who likes to pack a lot of productivity into their day, I’ve struggled with managing my time - creatively and in the other areas of my life. The balancing act is hard, so I’ve compiled some of the tips that work best for me.

PS: There’s a link to a print out of the exercises that correspond with these tips at the bottom of this!

Figure out what needs to be done Before you can manage your time, you need to figure out what it is you want to get done. Do you w…