Why THINGS are not helping you face your fear

12:00 PM

Just take a moment to close your eyes and imagine one thing - anything - that, if you had it this very moment, you'd be able to achieve the success, goals and dreams you obsess over.

Open your eyes.

I'm going to tell you why you don't need that thing right now.


You have dreams. You have goals, plans to be successful. You have at least one thing you really want to achieve and for some reason you just can't seem to get up and grab for it.

You want to publish a book, but first you need to write it. You want to be a photographer, but first you need the equipment - you need a better camera. You want to help others but before you can do that you need to help yourself.

Do you see the pattern?

Your wants can only be fulfilled if you have something else. Something that will put you above and beyond so you can meet your "high requirements".

But is that true?

Pft. No.

I'm going to just come out and say what I think is going on (tell me in the comments if I'm wrong - I'd love to know what your actual limitations are).

You're scared.

You're terrified of going out and achieving something big. Something that will not only move you, but those around you as well.

But—

There's no but. You're frozen in fear. But that's okay. (Okay, so there is a but.)

You convince yourself into thinking you need things or stuff to get you places, when, in reality, you need to let go in order to fulfill your destiny.

How do I know this? Because I'm living it right now.

I'm not that old, but I've watched myself get held back because I thought I needed more of something - something I assumed I was incapable of making happen myself. Something that would push me over the edge and help me fall luxuriously toward my goal.

Boy, did it hurt when I fell backward and landed on my tookas. Still afraid. Still in need.

I'll use driving as an example. I was scared to death of driving. I got my permit and hardly utilized it throughout the year it was valid. I didn't want to drive. I thought I was incapable of "good driving". I didn't think I could get the car (let alone my family) home in one piece.

Until something shifted my perspective. One of my friends who had just earned their license took me out for a girl's night. She was behind the wheel of the car, jamming out to the radio whilst driving safely. She sang and head bopped, and as I watched I grew envious.

I wanted that.

I wanted her freedom.

So I had to renew my permit. And let me tell you, it was not a fun experience. I had to restudy for a test I had to retake. But afterward, I felt a little more confident. Just a little bit.

Then my mom took me out driving on a road with hardly any cars. With the goal of freedom in mind, I got up to 50 miles an hour (which was under the speed limit - I promise). I came home feeling victorious. I'd faced something. I'd shown myself I was capable. And that broke my fear.

Later I learned that my friend went through something similar. She waited two years before getting it together and working toward her license. (I'm not going to lie - that made me feel better for waiting so long.)

Let this story teach you two lessons.

Lesson One: You have to face your fears.

If you want to achieve greatness, become the best you, or come face to face with destiny, you need to face your fears. There's no way around it.

Life isn't easy. It isn't always happy. But it isn't always a struggle either. I promise that when you break through to the other side of the fear that's holding you back, you will feel so good. You'll feel triumphant!

"But what if I fail?"

Succumbing to fear is an automatic failure, so you really don't have to worry about that. You've been there, done that, and the only thing you can do is progress. Push through. Not for me, but for you.

"The world's best-kept secret is that on the other side of your fear, there is something safe and beneficial waiting for you." —Steve Chandler

Lesson Two: The People Around You Have Fears To Face Too.

Everyone has a story. Everyone has something going on in their life. This means you're not alone. I promise. There is probably someone really close to you who has gone or is going through the same thing you are. Reach out. Ask for help. Don't be afraid of vulnerability.

I know you're strong enough. I know you're capable. Now it's time to show yourself what you can do.

My challenge: Don't wait to face your fear.

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xx Nicole Rose