Have you ever had those days where you pull that hidden box of childhood memories out of the back of closet, just to relive the old days? Do you flip through the pages of a novel you taped together yourself, reliving the nostalgic feeling of warmth as you think "wow I needed a lot of work"? Do you flip through the pages of a dusty scrapbook and remember the moments surroundings the photos?
When I was younger I used to do it a lot (especially since I had a book with my ye old crush's face in it - looking through it gave me an excuse to stare at his childhood roundness). I'm going to be honest and say generally, I remembered the bad times, like the stupid things I said or did. But I made sure to think about the good times too. And even though I dwelt on what I thought I lost (and sometimes still do), I look at my present self and I smile. Because I'm actually starting to be okay with where I'm at.
My mom sometimes says to me, "the little things that matter so much to you now, won't matter to you later."
And she's right.
My younger self used to take dance classes four times a week. Now I spend my days writing. I used to obsess over Josh Hutcherson. Now I obsess over book characters and band members. I used to think that my best friend was going to be in my life forever and ever and ever. We haven't talked in over a month.
And even though these things make me feel sad when I allow myself to look back, I realize I've grown. Thanks to my memories, experiences, friends, interests and more I've developed into the person I am now - the person I'm beginning to really, truly love.
Thank you for reading. <3
xx Nicole Rose