Watching someone proceed to beat themselves up has shown me how ridiculous self-blame is. It’s just Satan’s way of getting his horrible messages out there. It’s scary how influenced we all are by him. Mistakes are made you’re stupid so you wallow in it. Sometimes, it’s okay. It’s understandable. But taking two, three months to drown youself in the horrible mental monstrosity - to be overcome by doubts, fears, and under confidence is...sad. So sad. It’s almost a waste of time. BUT, what if it’s needed? What if we must feel sad, and dumb, and stupid and forgetful and lame and awful about ourselves in order to make us realize that none of it is true?
Most of us, many of us, must make this discovery on our own. Yes, it has been express to you, but right now it’s only a thought. Once you make the discovery of self-worth on your own, that’s when you’ll be able to pull yourself out of your funk.
( A word of advice? Get over yourself. You can’t harbor all the disliked qualities. )
I used to write your name in the margins of my notebook; the thought of you distracting me from my original task. I'd curl and twist the letters into a grand signature when you consumed my brain to the point of non-functioning return. Then the letters that conjured your label shrank, becoming tiny and squeezed, until they were gone - just like the thought of you. Now I doodle, putting hearts and stars and random sayings in the place where your name used to go.