11 May 2013

Hated.

"Just like me and her." I comment, turning back toward our conversation.

My friend laughs and shakes her head, bending down to retrieve something from her large bag.

"Yeah, we're like this." I cross my fingers, signaling our sarcastic closeness.

"She hates you, you know." My other friend pipes up, adjusting her dance bag on her shoulder and glancing down at her phone.

I giggle quietly, "Really?"

"Yeah. She doesn't say it much, but she does."

I laugh this time. Not caring that my laughter is louder than it should be on this quiet, tired evening.

"I like you as a person and I like her. But I just don't get it. What's up with you guys?" She continues, studying my face, looking over my shoulder at the other girl who just laughs again, still shaking her head.

This time I feign a sigh, and shake my head, a small smile tugging at my lips. "I don't know."

***

Apparently, I am hated. Have you ever been told you're hated? I have. Many, many times. But this time, when I was told, I laughed. I shook it off. I feel like I let the comment slip away. Usually I'd take that comment and let rest heavily on my shoulders. I'd let it mess with my life. I'd let it control me and define what I do. But I didn't this time.
Is it okay to be proud of that? That I didn't let it effect me? I've let too many things effect me lately. I feel like I've let words, emotions, people, even, control my life. What I say, what words I use. I shouldn't be so afraid. But is that really what I am? Afraid? Or am I just...scared? Scared to be my true self? Scared to do the right thing? Maybe being afraid and feeling scared are the same thing.

But I don't know.
I just don't know anymore.

am i hated? || let it go

thank you for reading.

xoxo,
Rose



6 comments

  1. Yeah...I've been hated. And I still am hated. There's always gonna be those people. We just have to learn to smile it away.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly...

      Thanks for the beautiful comment. :)

      -Rose

      Delete
  2. I'm sure I'm hated. :) But I don't know why anyone would want to hate you! I agree with what Sarah V. said, that there's always going to be those people you hate you, but there will always be ones who love you, too. It's best to try and ignore the haters and embrace the lovers. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Priya. :)

      -Rose

      Delete
  3. Reading this made me very... mad. sad. upset. and sorry.
    Sorry for those who 'hate' you. I feel SORRY for them. That they can't open there eyes and see this amazing person in front of them. Why? Why can't they see how lucky they are just to know you, or even see you.
    I feel sorry for their careless soul. I feel sorry for their ungentle minds. I feel sorry for them.
    Honestly there is something wrong with them to think that anyone could EVER hate you. How? That's not even possible.
    I'm sorry for these harsh words, but this bugs me sooo bad. They bug me. They bug the living poo outta me. •-•

    You are not hated. NO. Obviously for someone to hate you they must be below you. They want to get up so they try to drag you down. I believe you are strong. You let it go, and I couldn't be more proud of you. Do you hear me?

    I love you.

    Hug attacks and Glitter fights together. <3
    Kenz

    { sorry for the long comment. •-• }

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh jeez, I-I'm gonna cry. Thank you, Kenz. Thank you so much for the comment. I appreciate it. It made my whole...year. <3

      *sniffles* You are too sweet, you know that?

      I love you SO much.

      You're too good for meh...
      Rosie.

      Delete

All comments I receive are cherished for many hours after reading them. Thank you for taking the time to type something to me.

xx Nicole Rose

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